Oooh baby. Oooh baby. Ooh baby, You’ll always be baby to me…

Went to Mom’s birthday party today. I really liked it. Found it far more worth going to a crappy organized event that I did nothing that I feel earned that.

I’d rather earn what I want, not what some council wants. The only reason I voted was because they bloody made me vote. I wouldn’t have such voter apathy if it were an actually serious council.

Anyway, over there I got a good number of random photos of stuff, and also made a drawing.

Party was awesome. Would’ve been more awesome if my friends managed to make it. But they didn’t. Unfortunate…

-HolyJunkie.

Mama’s gonna keep baby healthy and clean…

I worked with my brother and dad digging dirt for an old couple somewhere near my old Elementary. After that, went to kung fu.

Oddly enough, the class seemed small… Oh yeah, the children weren’t there…

I’m not that much of a fan of kids, to be honest… I think I said that before. If I ever have kids, I’d do everything in my power to raise them right.

Which helped inspire some random bout of thinking while I was washing dishes. I watched Cars again to check the details in the art, and took note of the shading in the rock formations, and faint reflections on asphalt. It’s something I do.

Anyway, this random bout of thinking really kicked off when I started thinking a little too much about something that I came across on Facebook. Although what I thought about really applies, I’d rather not make this a direct response rather than my own opinion on the subject in general.

That subject of course is Parenting.

I’m no father. Although I did turn into a second uncle at the age of 12 (older cousins)

Wait, that doesn’t count. I never met that second nephew.

… Let me try this again.

I’m no father… Wait, I said that. Whatever.

I’m no father… BUT I do believe that I have a bit of a good idea from what I’ve heard in some of Alan Moore’s interviews when the inevitable “What do you have to say to our fans who need inspiration?” question comes up.

That is the fact that there should be no ceiling that kids should have anxieties for. Their parents should not be natural images of their future. The kid’s dad could be a doctor, but the kid suddenly does a U-turn and takes on Politics and later becomes the Prime Minister of Canada.

Of course, that’s an extreme example, but it puts up a point: There should be no limitations to what a kid could do to be successful in life.

Although being able to kill people is illegal by universally accepted human rights distributed in the Charter in Canada and also by laws initiated by the United Nations… And then we’ve still got massacres around the world… I’ll just stop digressing.

Even if you should not throw on limits, don’t bloody encourage them to be the best of the best of the best of the fucking best. That’s called over-encouragement.

You should not expect anything more of your child other than the best skills he’s got. If he or she needs help, all he or she needs to do is ask. You don’t know your child, despite the genetic relationship.

I admit it. I don’t even know my own parents. Do you really think they’d really know me? And yet, they think they know me.

The only person who truly knows you is not your psychiatrist, not your parents, not your best friend, or your boyfriend or girlfriend, or fiancee or whatever. The only person who truly knows everything about you is you.

Why is that? It’s your bloody brain! No one else owns it. Only you do.

Of course, everyone has brains and their own imagination and their own opinions. That’s theirs. Yours is yours. Morally-speaking, some can be worse-off than others, such as an obsessive need to beat a wife.

I’ll admit: I can be one of those sadistic nutjobs. However, I’d do it to anyone. ANYONE. No discrimination, no race, no religion, no specified targets. Only the ones who piss me off and who really deserve it.

Parents feel that they have to know their child. In reality, they only have to know themselves much better. They need to realise that the only thing that they really have to have is balance.

Everything needs balance, and that especially includes the human body.

The human body is the most important set of scales in existence.

You see those obese nutjobs down in the States? That’s an imbalance. See those guys who are parched, where you can see their ribcage poking through their skin, where they wheeze for water and gasp for food and ultimately starve? That’s an imbalance… not to mention a little frightening…

Take care of your body, and it will take care of you. Vice-versa, as bad as it can sound. That’s what my Sifu says when he talks about exercise and the philosophy of martial arts in general.

Sure the kung fu allowed me to get along a bit more nicely with my Dad and brother, I know for a fact that I will never truly know them, even if I figuratively or literally put myself in their shoes.

I have my own way of thinking, so does everyone else.

To the parents who may be wondering why their kid is acting so strange, avoiding you at all costs? Preferring hanging out places other than at home?

That basically means that you’re a source of anxiety and stress on their part, in one way or another, from one level to another. You’re annoying them, and they want to escape from that.

I sure do want to escape sometimes. However, the friends I have seem to take me for granted, and thus I’m building my wall. Not sure what to fill the empty spaces, though.

Apart from Dad’s… non-medicated nature, everyone in my family tends to get along. Although my brother and I are more and more getting a little sick of each other.

But hey, eighteen years of sleeping in the same room can really do something to any mind.

We get along nicely otherwise. Why is that? They don’t enforce such high expectations or low expectations. They figure out a balance. I like this balance, and it’ll only get better once we move out to Bunker V.

Of course, at this point, it really occurred to me that I really am a blessed guy. I couldn’t continue washing the dishes, suddenly depressed that everyone else has such serious problems and my problems will only get worse if we turn into idiots and cause everything to go tits-up.

I then wished that I could at least pull someone out of the creeping hell that is family problems. I can’t, however. I can only add my opinion. If I ever got involved, then ideas would lash against my own, and it’s like an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object. And when the volcano finally erupts violently, someone will end up dead. It will not be me, however, and I will be the one to blame, and whoever’s connected to the person will be pissed at me, despite the fact that I had confirmed that the son-of-a-bitch really had it coming from the time we argued to the point where words became somehow useless.

A moment of silence as I stood at the sink… Could I save anyone without ending up murdering someone else?

I’m caring this much about trying to pull people out of sheer hell, and I really don’t know why. Is it love?

Due to the stupidity of Pop Culture, Stereotypes, and the overusage of the word “Hate”, I’ve developed a twisted meaning of the words “Love” and “Hate.”

I mean twisted. They make sense, but I had seen reactions that made me think “I’m a fucking twisted guy.”

BUT THEY MAKE BLOODY SENSE! SOMETHING RELIGION HAS FAILED TO DO, YET IS MORE POPULAR THAN FUCKING WORLD WAR FUCKING 2 AS A GAME GENRE!

Geez…

I’m no fan of religion. Never will be. I won’t even worship the sun. The Sun is an inanimate ball of plasma that just happens to supply light to the world.

I developed my own Supreme Diety, and he makes sense, and he is interesting. He’s not an all-knowing-all-loving being who puts on such strict rules with punishments that we don’t even know ever existed.

Seriously, hell? Hell on Earth is far worse than Hell itself, and these days, Hell on Earth turns into cake-walks.

I’d eat Satan’s beard for breakfast, and then spit it back into his face and watch him cry… and then do it all the same for every other religious Supreme icon who existed…

… Except for Buddha, who actually existed, lived a twisted life, and became a better man out of it.

I’m no Buddhist, actually. I don’t believe in reincarnation. Once you’re dead, you’re done. All that’s left is your rotting corpse and the memories of others, which will die with them.

I’ve always thought this way even before I found out about Fight Club.

Anyway, Parents need to learn to develop a balanced way of raising a child. They should raise a kid for the sake of raising a kid, not to develop a strong, loving slave to take care of them when they’re older.

Seriously, Old Folks’ homes. They may not be appealing, but they’re there for reasons.

The biggest reason I can think of is that the Parents did a poor job at raising their child, and now said child despises their guts and put them in one of those places just so they don’t have to work to take care of them.

The second-biggest reason I can think of is that said Parents did not do a good job at taking care of themselves. I’ve known and heard about people who’ve lived to grow big, strong, and well to a hundred, yet still have the strength to lift cinderblocks without throwing their backs, or the durability to not need a cane or a walker or a chair. That is, people who did not screw up, or be unfortunate cancer-diagnostees.

The way I’m going, I hope to at least get close to ninety. Chances are I won’t, though.

Even still, the sole reason I’d want to have kids is to show them just how good humanity’s got it, and then show them how we’re taking it all for granted.

That’s a lesson I learned in the play Our Town. Very touching play. I got nominated in some city awards thing for lights design for that play at our school. Not appreciative that I was the only one who actually worked on the lights, yet the Stage Manager ended up getting the nomination with me.

It was not a matter of pride. It was a matter of “Why the hell would my teacher do this when it’s obvious that I did all of the work that was required for the nomination. I designed the lights, and I designed them by myself.

Oddly enough, I STILL hold a grudge on that. Although since I figured out how much bullshit that nominations thing really was full of, I sort of stopped caring. But seriously, this medal I got would look good on a resume… somewhere…

…

… I really am alone… What’s the point of this wall if there’s really no one to try to isolate myself from?

Of course, some can say that I’m taking my… friends for granted by building this wall. However, I’d rather not try to dig into their skulls to try to figure out what their problem is.

No-doubt, it’s an emotion-related problem. Here’s my advice for emotional problems…

GET A FUCKING GRIP! No one’s going to care about you until you actually figure out how to solve your mental and emotional problems that just drives everyone else bat-shit crazy. No one wants to waste resources on something that can easily be fixed with well-used time, and only be fixed by well-used time.

That’s what Psychiatrists try to do. They help you manage that healing element of time, allowing you to clear thoughts.

Of course, a good round of meditation can do the exact same thing, except you won’t get attacked by Scientologists… But these days, they’ll attack anyone who’s not them.

Alan Moore also said that the state of the world is not the fault of Nazis, or Fascists, or Communists, or Muslims, or Scientologists, or Catholics, or Buddhists, or Australians, or Americans, or whatever. It’s caused by you. Every single one of you, and that also includes me.

Humanity caused the sorry state the world is in right now. It is up to humanity to suck up, grab their dick, and double-click towards creating a better world.

These days, I feel that I’m the only one who’s actually not crazy. Of course, that could be a symptom that I’m the only one that’s crazy. But read this post over and think on it.

Also, before you say anything, no. You will not ever come close to truly knowing me, even if I write every single thought I have in this blog. SQUIRRELS!

See what I mean?

-HolyJunkie.

Review: Cars

Cars: Anthropomorphic automobiles doing what the furries failed to do- IE: doing a damn good job.

—

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again.

I am an honest-to-goodness fan of Pixar. If movies these days were made in the same grade and dedication as those guys, I can guarantee that the only thing that’s keeping a “Top 5″ list in movies is favoritism and taste. That’s it.

Pixar can tell a story, and they’re getting their animating skill through the roof. It doesn’t top Wall-E. Pixar’s always topping themselves in some way.

Since watching this movie, that makes only two Pixar films left to see: Ratitouille, and Up.

Up just came out on Theatres, if my actually reliable sources tell me right. Can’t make time to see it, though. I’m starting to wonder if Up will top Wall-E.

Doubt it, though. Reason Wall-E is my top Pixar film is because it has robots.

Anyway, Cars.

—

It’s basically a story about a society comprised of anthropomorphic vehicles. You’ve got every kind of car playing as if they were human, Volkswagon Beetles representing bugs (get it?) and tractors playing as cows.

… I wish I was kidding.

Doesn’t detract from the sheer awesomeness, though.

The cars are fleshed-out, and given that sentient feel. The cartoony eyes just seem to make you forget that the metal making up their case is never really supposed to morph and bend, most obvious when they’re talking.

I mean every single one of them, from the main character to the secondary characters to the huge number of cars in the audience during the races, and even the cameo for the Pizza Planet truck. They all seemed to have personality.

Of course, some of the personality was pretty obvious in most cases, but I don’t see that in Pixar in a negative way.

Sure they took a theme and idea that has been done before, but they dug through it and did their research. They don’t just make some cookie-cutter story and go with it.

I can easily go find five other movies that have the same background theme behind Cars, and not one of them will have any lack of humans.

Seriously, anthropomorphic cars. I honestly never thought of that until Inspector Gadget… except for the fact that the I.G. movies failed… IMO…

While the story of Wall-E is something I don’t want to discuss out of the risk of spoiling it, Cars’ story is one where it’s easy to discuss, and also to avoid confusion one may have at the start.

… Wait, you weren’t confused at the start? Huh, must’ve been me.

It starts off with the main character, a Rookie in a Grand Finale race for the “Piston Cup” (get it?) facing off against others and trying as much as possible to win, even skipping out on pit stops.

At this point, I thought this was all a dream sequence and the Rookie guy’s really just an average shmuck who got pulled into it. I was proved wrong, though. It turned out to be all legit.

Now where does the rusty old pickup truck and other cars come in?

… Just watch it, dirtbag!

They made so many car-related jokes that made me laugh, as well as some product placement… which would normally make me facepalm in disappointment, but in this way, it all clicked in nicely. Like the GoodYear tires. I’ve yet to hear about a brand other than GoodYear, to be honest.

It’s far more subtle than using crappy music for the worst possible moments just to have the music, or throwing in random brands of stuff just for the sake of having them. The tires were subtle, made sense, and had a need to be there. You don’t need Coke for a random conversation to develop plot. You need tires on a car for a car to drive.

It’s hilarious at times, and during character development scenes, namely the romance sidestory, it’s made a little too obvious. However, the way they had the characters act was what made the romance side-story actually bearable.

Lets see… basic story, check. Subtle side-story, check. Hilarity, check. The ending above all was bloody hilarious as well… That is, during the credits.

Oh yeah, the graphical look of it. Pixar is seriously improving on their realistic look. Out of all the things they were experimenting with, I had to guess they were doing lighting effects and surface reflection above all.

They do it so well that I swear you could put a human in there and it would still look natural.

… Well, except for the anthropomorphic cars. So much detail put into everything, I find.

I’m a huge fan of Pixar. I’ll easily find this movie worth watching.

—

Voice acting in it is awesome as well. To be honest, I don’t really see why they don’t have guys like that do voices in animated TV shows. There probably are some that I don’t know about, but having voice actors like the ones Pixar and the big movie guys have voice guys in Anime would make the English dubs at least bearable.

Check that, it would make the shows awesome. Then demand would rise for more of it, and then we get a vicious cycle of ideas being used more and more, and it ultimately turns into a cluster-eff of repeated storylines.

Sounds a lot like what’s happening with Naruto right now.

I guess it is a good thing that the English dubs have tremendous room for improvement. I would say that they downright suck, but I don’t know the people who are actually in that part of the industry. Should expect that they’re good people.

-HolyJunkie.

Mama will always find out where you’ve been…

Today was a pretty Team Fortress 2-exclusive day. Probably should’ve spend my time better. Ah well, got some work done.

And I’m bored stiff…

-HolyJunkie.

Mama’s gonna wait up until you get in…

Typical day, except for the fact that Second and Third periods were practically moot. Skipped them due to the fact that there would be literally no one there.

Spent the time getting some R&R. Well-deserved, considering the non-stop week I’ve been having.

Hoping I could get together with some old friends sometime, or at least talk with them to escape the world and such.

… Eh, maybe later. Or maybe never, seeing as I’m building my wall.

-HolyJunkie.

“Whatever you vividly imagine, ardently desire, sincerely believe, and enthusiastically act upon, must inevitable come to pass.”

Mama won’t let anyone dirty get through…

Damn it damn it damn it. Third day in a row where I screwed up my sleeping habits.

I don’t think it’s about work. It’s just my own fault. Work is not to blame.

Besides, I rather like what I’m doing at work. Silence tops the list of things I like about it. Part of me wants to buy myself a set of portable speakers to bring with me to work and such.

That’ll probably be annoying for others… I’d like some portable speakers anyway.

Top reason I joined kung fu: To be efficient. It is really showing in the way I work.

I’m Sifu’s little worker drone… Actually, I’m about 6′4″. More like Sifu’s rather tall worker drone.

After work yesterday, I went to the classroom rather early. I liked the isolation, and started practicing stuff. However, I accidentally landed on my head wrong.

Suffered worse. Felt good as new within a week. No crack. No real damage. No problem.

Still have a slight headache. Will be recovered.

Morning: Woke up late, as I said. Must make sure I get better sleep tomorrow. Will be needed for classes and such. Cannot afford to lose pace.

First Period: More filming. Then ran into yet another problem: How to upload the footage onto the computer. Saved it onto a hard drive of sorts, but cannot seem to get the files off. It’s been done before, but none in my class have any real idea on how to fix it. Must find “J.”

Second Period: Cold War stuff. Drew more.

Lunch: “J” wasn’t there. Bummer. Went to get bus pass, also took notice of a very negative-looking multi-page art piece on the wall in the otherwise most bland hallway in history. It made things interesting, but it was rather unoriginal, in my opinion. It was a picture of an upper half of a man with arms outstretched, with lines pointing to different areas of the body, and labeled with so-called “negative traits,” or even “sins”

The so-called “demon crap” is something I an finding more and more unoriginal that it even starts to borderline on my severe, total dislike for vampires.

Third Period: Continued working on the computer, doing stuff I’ve been asked to do. Must get to it.

After School: Went home, went to work… Will edit once I get home from work.

-HolyJunkie.

Mama’s gonna check out all your girlfriends for you…

It strikes me as odd that practically everywhere save for Canada and European nations that remained neutral throughout the World Wars are currently the only ones that are not completely screwed-over by the long, hard karma that they set themselves with.

The more I think about it, the more I think that I’m probably simply a Buddhist. However, a main subject within Buddhism is the belief in reincarnation.

Not a believer of reincarnation, ultimately. I do have an odd affinity to think that inanimate objects being abandoned seem to have souls.

That, however, is just growing attachment to things and wondering if five years down the road, said object will be required.

That’s probably why there’s so much junk in our basement. However, in the event of an apocalypse, and we save all of that stuff, its usefulness will rise up tenfold. It’s like the ultimate piggy bank, except you don’t break it open in a simple financial crisis.

That, and the fact that a good number of stuff down there can be used as relatively effective zombie weapons, or barricade material. However, I’d rather hold out at Bunker V once it’s complete. It’s mainly because it’s much bigger, and much more stable and secure.

Seriously, put a small frag grenade beside the current house we live in right now, and the whole place will collapse from the force alone. Take a step on one side, and you’ll probably knock something off a bookshelf on the other side.

It’s a bummer. Ah well.

Morning: I woke up late. I told myself that I’ll improve sleeping habits, but I got caught up in something and didn’t expect the time to suddenly get half-past ten.

One of the people in PA talked about the Twilight movie. She’s a bit of a fan of it, I think? Not quite sure. Anyway, she could agree that the camerawork was utter shit and unecessary… just like a number of the scenes in the movie. I know because I saw them in that “Lulz Edition” that Jakob and I saw.

(By the way, the guy who torrented the movie and gutted it to throw in a Youtube Poop treatment. Genius. I have to say. That guy was definitely on a boat like a bauss, and we all jizzed in our pants. Jakob had a slightly different opinion, but agreed that the Youtube Poop edits were the only things good.)

Acting didn’t help either. Actually, check that. There was NO acting. They all had blank faces, except the guy who played Edward… but that was rarely anyway.

Director had absolutely no idea what he/she was doing, or the cinematographer, or whoever’s running the camera in general. I’ve done more meaningful stuff done by people who seemed to be having elliptic seizures while filming.

By that, I mean the people who did the shaky camera during 28 Weeks Later. At least they knew what they were doing, but overdid it a little.

First Period: Got a new movie idea, and something that I can actually pull off by myself. I got a good number of things recorded, but I wished that the camera I had at the time could be put on a tripod. It needed a certain attachment in order to do that.

I lacked said attachment. Ah well. I got some good shots anyway. I just hope that the shots I got don’t get deleted.

Second Period: Topped-off a drawing I started yesterday, yet again a female figure. I ponder what’s going through the heads of people I know.

Can’t care right now. Maybe once I get home.

Lunch: Listened to Pink Floyd’s “Shine On You Crazy Diamond” while playing pass with “J”. From yesterday’s sparring, I gave him three bruises in different places. Accidental, of course, but I basically gave the same effort everyone at kung fu gives me.

Hard habit to break, and to be honest, any shmuck on the street can take the hits that are thrown by the guys whom I train with.

It was still fun. I got good exercise. That is all that matters.

Third Period: Wrote this blog post. Have other work to do, but I need inspiration for writing stuff. I also want to figure out how to write this one script that I’ve been writing along with “J” at points.

Lets see… The Sniper machinima, The infomercial, the project in Film Studies, Frayed Edges, Unexpected, and another series I’m hoping to start in the future. Current priority: The project in Film Studies, seeing as I have until Friday in order to get it done.

After School: Tuesday’s pretty much taken up. Same with Thursdays. Reason is that I got a job with Sifu (Wait, I talked about this yesterday) and it requires me to work after I get home from school.

Anyway, after that, I’ve got less than an hour to get ready for Kung Fu. After that, I go to bed, or spend a few minutes writing in this blog if I haven’t already.

Can’t make infomarcial now. Brother’s got his time taken. Will be impossible to get required footage and editing done by Friday if I still went with it. That’s the reason I made a new movie idea.

-HolyJunkie.

… Now there’s a look in your eyes, like black holes in the sky…

Oooh-ah. Mother will she break my heart?

Morning: Typical morning. Should’ve gotten more sleep, though.

First Period: Worked on projects.

Second Period: Cold War stuff. Started on a new drawing.

Lunch: “J” and I sparred a little, which was something I rather liked. It was like Fight Club, except no blood, or extreme cases of injuries.

Third Period: Slept

After School: Worked for Sifu.

Rushed post. Played Nazi Zombies and Metroid Prime 3.

That is all.

-HolyJunkie.

Mother will she tear your little boy apart?

Home alone. Things to do. House to clean. Ponder if I’m the only one actually caring about messy floors. Took note that the biggest messes are in the living room and the area of floor where my brother’s stuff is on.

Lawn mowed. Dishes to be washed. House vacuumed. Probably should develop a new garbage can for the living room, in hopes that the messes there would be reduced dramatically.

Then noticed that it’s rather quiet around here. Decided to blast out some music. No one to complain, eh?

-HolyJunkie.

Screw it. I’m throwing in my own opinion.

(Jakob’s review in a sentence)

Twilight: Words cannot describe the utter horrid misogynistic trite that is this so-called “best-seller” – which also made me lose faith in MTV ever being any more trustworthy than Fox News ever again.

—

I tried reading it, honest. I also tried enjoying it. Managed to score it for no money whatsoever… I have my sources.

By the way, this is Jakob. HJ’s asleep now. Tired from the day.

I never thought shitty writing could be out-done in a single book. Usage of words in most meaningful instances was utterly horrid. (Verbose and Talkative DO NOT MEAN THE SAME THING) And other words were just put in for the sake of having big words. It’s like reading an unorganized thesaurus, except more expensive and has the worst case of creature-butchering I have ever seen.

Seriously! Vampires? Werewolves? They’re been DONE before. They’ve been done since… I don’t know when! And all those times before, they’ve been done RIGHT! These guys aren’t even suitable to be called such classic names.

Symbolism is utter moot, save for that apple in the cover, but that exact picture HAS been used for a book made by… I forget his name, but he’s the guy who wrote the Chronicles of Narnia. In another book by him, there was a picture of hands holding an apple.

But even so, the apple’s only meaning was how their “love” was forbidden. This falls flat on its face because there was nothing trying to prevent their “love.” I say “love” in sarcastic quotation marks because ultimately it’s just a shitty spoof of Romeo & Juliet, which actually took that kind of story and DID IT RIGHT!

Shakespeare is a REAL literary genius. He had to in order to write all of those plays in three days each and be able to get actors together and rehearsed to get such shows on in such short time… and then have them actually turn out GOOD!

So any form of symbolism that’s in the book is null and void. Otherwise it does not exist. It becomes painfully obvious that the author of this book (Can’t recall her name. I suck with names…) wrote this book for herself. Considering the raving fans that lack any speck of fucking logic, I would wish that the book should have stayed in her bookshelf and only her bookshelf.

Although HJ DOES have a friend or two who love the series… but they’re still logically reasonable people and have actual brains and maturity. I respect that. HJ probably does too.

I saw no plot, other than the whole “Love story” and that part with the slightly more withstandable, more mainstream “vampire.”

The former of which is utterly inferior to the plot of Romeo & Juliet. (War between Montegues and Capulets, and young teenagers of both houses fall in lust with each other and end up killing each other, creating peace between both houses out of the tragedy)

The latter of which was practically at the end, rushed, and was right out of the fucking blue. There is a fine line between originality and “just plain stupid.”

The whole jist about the “vampires” is a perfect example of showing that fine line.

Then there’s the talk of it being a “Saga.” I’ve done my research, and the way the four books have turned out, from what I read, there is no evidence of it being a saga. Sure it can be called a series, but a SAGA?

If the story started with Edward’s past and developed him throughout the years he’s been alive, and THEN get to the so-called “wet dream,” then yes, it can be legitimately called a “saga.”

But no, it makes no background research for the past of characters. In fact, there’s absolutely NO DEPTH in the characters!

I saw the movie as well. Fortunately, it was a torrent put on Justin.tv, and given what’s called a “Youtube Poop” Treatment.

To be honest, the lulz-making editing made the movie slightly more tolerable. All it was was terrible music choice, unnecessary scenes, shitty camera angles, and the most atrocious acting I’ve ever bloody seen. It made me wish there was more of the “lulz-editing”

It was still good… The “lulz-editing” anyway. The movie utterly sucked. It actually makes me want to try to get my hands on the real DVD to listen to the commentary. From what I have heard from reliable sources, the Director had no idea what she… he… I-don’t-know-e… was doing.

With something like what I saw, I could agree. Must figure out how to get the DVD without having to give out anything. Then again, HJ’s brother HAS scored free stuff before, especially movies.

Ultimately, this was a sure-fire way to get hormone-plagued girls to find an alternative to masturbation… I’m guessing that anyway. There are some fans who are sane (again, some of HJ’s friends. I don’t really mean that much offense to those people in particular, unless they really are insane fans.) but I’ve planned to not get anywhere near rabid fangirls. If they come to me, I cannot be held responsible for what state they’ll be in if they screw with me out of harmless opinions.

Well, I’m tired. Hitting the sack as well. HJ’s whole wall-building is a decent plan of sorts. I just hope he doesn’t end up like Pink did. A line of defense to allow him to think, figure out a plan, get to work on said plan, heal emotional, mental, and physical wounds.

Time heals everything. He got that quote from me.

But back to this review of sorts, I recommend Twilight to the following kinds of people:

• Those with no hope for the improvement of story quality.
• Those “in it for the lulz”.
• Those who want to see vampires and werewolves utterly butchered and horribly developed.
• Those who want to read a less-tolerable version of an abridged thesaurus.
• Those who like shallow ponds filled to the brim with a lack of character development.
• Those who want to find out “how to do it wrong” in terms of writing good stories.
• Those who want to throw in a liable argument against rabid fangirls who bitch out for the most trivial reasons.
• Those who seriously… SERIOUSLY… have nothing better to do.
• Cabbage… Yeah…

EDITOR’S NOTE JAKOB’S NOTE: Those who take this shit to heart will find that it says a lot more about you than it does about me. Don’t be bitching out because you like the books. There are millions of others who will agree, and probably fewer others who will disagree. I don’t give a crap about what you think of this review or myself, be it positive or negative feedback.

That’s just how I am. HJ’s at least more tolerable for you nutjobs than I am. Be thankful he writes more than I do in this blog. I’m busy doing my thing. You get busy with your own thing.

And get your mind out of the gutter.

-Jakob.